I used to hate it when someone would tell me to relax. “Thanks a lot!” I’d think. “If I knew how to relax, I’d do it.”

How can we relax in this world? It’s so easy to get anxious and, knowingly or not, try to control things so we can feel safer or better about ourselves. We can see why people get into drugs and alcohol to find a few moments of ease, though at a high cost.

Yet, there is a royal road to relaxation. The true cure. It’s to feel loved.

Love melts. It melts the tension and fear stored in our bodies and minds. It melts our suspicion and vigilance. To be loved is the great relief. Isn’t that remarkable?

Loss is not always about losing things we cherish, and letting go is not always a loss. How about letting go of the armor that surrounds our hearts? What about losing our hardness, so that kindness and caring can touch us? It turns out that kindness is everywhere. It just needs to be noticed and felt. The sincere smile of a stranger, a kind text from a friend, the warm sun, your cat on your chest.

There are many kinds of letting go. Letting go into love is the greatest.

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